As the holidays are approaching and many of us like to do the shopping in advance (I think it’s wise to do so, so that you can properly enjoy the month of December without having to face the stress of last minute shopping), I wanted to share a few thoughts on giving gifts. You won’t find here any gift lists – I often consider them useless and I usually fail to see anything but their commercial side. A gift is something very personal, something that should be shaped on the personality and tastes of the future recipient, and I don’t think drawing up endless shopping guidelines is very helpful in trying to find that special something for the ones we love.
A comment from Lauren Bacall’s autobiography comes to my mind, saying that Bogart hated calendar occasions, like Christmas, and considered to be much more fun and meaningful to buy a gift for no reason at all (so very Bogie!). I agree, that kind of a token of love and appreciation is all the more special and always pleases me more. But I also agree that a Christmas present thoughtfully chosen and given from the heart can be just as appreciated and welcome. It doesn’t have to be spectacular or expensive to make an impression, but you have to put your heart into it. It always shows, regardless of how insignificant it may seem.
Never settle for the second best when you buy a present. Even if I am on a budget, I always buy something more than I can afford when it comes to gifts. I’d rather spend a little less on me. If a girlfriend of mine has similar tastes with mine, I always choose what I would love the most to receive if I were in her place. I also often consider the recipient’s hobbies and interests, because even if nothing gives me more joy than getting a book as present, no matter the occasion, I am well aware that not everyone shares my passion.
In time, I have also learned that, even when it comes to your parents, or even grandparents, although they may not say it, they always prefer to be given something that they might want and will not have to share with the entire family, like homeware or kitchenware. It must be something just for her or him, because gifting requires that kind of true consideration. Of course there are people who enjoy collecting ceramics or other decorative objects and contributing to their hobby is certainly a good idea.
But come to think of the real value of a present, why do you think our hearts melt when a child offers us a gift? Whether handmade or bought with the pocket money saved for weeks or months, you know that that little something is especially made (with much care) or chosen (with much effort and emotion) for you, and that feeling can not be beaten by the most expensive gift you may receive on the side.
The more I think of it, the more I realise I would like to establish a tradition of sorts on Christmas as far as the gift giving part is considered as well. “Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store”. Not any given store, anyway, and coming in the form of something that certainly doesn’t require more money, but that bears a little more thoughtfulness and unconditional joy.
photo: Laurie Frankel for Fresh Holidays Campaign 2013, via LatteLisa
I have to say first that Bogie and my husband clearly have something in common ;- ) Since we moved abroad I don’t buy as many presents as I used to, and many years before that my siblings and I stopped buying presents for each other and just bought presents for the kids (that was a great decision and solved a lot of headaches). Thoughtful presents are the best but my favourite ones are the things that my kids have crafted at school. Those go straight to the heart.
PS. That Fresh holiday campaign was so cute.
I love that idea of buying presents just for each other’s children. It makes perfect sense. And no gift is more beautiful than one received from a child, especially your own I imagine.
PS: I saved up that campaign photo from last year and was looking forward to a chance to use it.
What a gorgeous photo! I actually think about xmas presents throughout the year; its easy if you know the person really well, and then when I spot something I know they will love I get it and keep it hidden for months! And yes, I agree, just receiving a drawing or something from your child is so special (I’ve got a stack of them !!.. there is only so much storage!!). I’ve already started my shopping, for the very reason you mention, there is nothing worse than fighting the crowds on xmas eve day.
i don’t mind gifts lists because i find them fun (and sometimes for the person who has everything, like my mom, it can be helpful!). as for giving actual gifts , i agree about giving gifts that are thoughtful. my oldest son always tells me i give him the best gifts because ‘i know him so well’ – and most of them are small and simple: books, t-shirts, albums, and movies. it’s one of the best compliments because i know what he is really appreciating isn’t the gifts themselves but the fact that i know who he is. and of course when my kids make something i love it beyond measure. even when they pick out a gift for me from the store i love to see what they think i ‘need’ or ‘want,’ it’s so sweet.
I agree with you about those gift lists for those who have everything. They can be fun. But I wish there were more of these and less of the other type.
As holiday season is fast approaching, this picture is perfect !
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