Why Don’t We Learn More from Men?

The Sartorialist-Lunch for 25 
I am the type of person who’s always gotten along better with men than with women. Maybe it’s because I grew up with a brother and the boys’ games would always interest me more than the girls’ (I was interested in football years before I even became aware of fashion). Maybe it’s because I’ve always been more of the independent type (which still applies now, in my married life – my husband and I will never be the kind of couple who does everything together), who thought I could do everything by myself or as good as a boy or a man. And I think it’s mainly because I love a man’s personality, the conversations they easily make up, the way they address real problems and not fret about the small things, how they avoid the trivial stuff … and because I love their sense of friendship. I resent the lack of solidarity between women and women. I don’t think women support each other enough. Too often, instead of being inspired and motivated by other women and their accomplishments, we are quick to pass judgement and dislike one another without any valid reason whatsoever, just because. And that often stems from insecurity and lack of self-confidence. So why not make an effort to better ourselves, work harder, learn from others, respect them and their work and thus respect ourselves?

Have you ever told a woman that she looked beautiful and really mean it? I agree, you have to feel good in your own skin first of all in order to be able to do that and that’s why you should make this a purpose – you’ll be a better you, a better friend, a better human being. Have you showed encouragement to a woman starting off her own business or a personal venture, no matter how dreamy that might have seemed? As someone co-owning a business, as well as running this blog, I know just how important a few meaningful words of encouragement are (and which have proven to be very scarce), even though my philosophy is to believe in yourself even when nobody else does.

I don’t deny that our artificial society has a substantial role in this competition women are against each other – we all know how Facebook and Instagram are used as a make-believe, mainly for show-off and hardly reflecting the real life, and still, how many times haven’t I read about women being jealous about another woman’s “life” splattered on social media? Vanity is hard to escape. But how can men do it and women can’t? Why can’t we be more like them? More relaxed, ready to shake hands, seeing the bigger picture? Not holding resentment, instilling their energy where it is needed and in what counts, retaining a sense of positive perspective no matter what, rejoicing in their friends’ happiness, being real sports. A man is more likely to show real class than a woman, that quality that should be deployed in all aspects of your life.

photo: The Sartorialist, Lunch for 25, 3rd edition

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